Bridge
by BeMerryEatCake
Summary: I'm falling alone. This darkness is too thick, too deep for escape. Is there someone at the bottom...anyone to catch me? Kutau


**I feel like I put too much into this oneshot, it was originally supposed to be a drabble! Oh, but I just HAD to add backstory...**

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_Will you catch_

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_me if I_

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It wasn't the view that made Utau Hoshina to stop on a bridge and stare off into the horizon. The idea was actually very morbid and rather dark to be set in the mind of a girl barely eighteen. No one passing her by gave her a fleeting glance and wondered if she was about to jump off. They might have if she climbed up on the stone siding and held out her arms like she used to when her dad flew her around up high. His big strong hands holding her up in the air, while smiling that soft gentle smile her mother always recalled to her when bringing up memories and saying:

_There's nothing you can't do in this world. If you want to fly…fly._

She was practical girl and never gave a brief thought to suicide. It was for the weak-minded after all.

But…

There's always that tiny niggling monster that eats away at your insides until almost everything is gone and disappeared. The day her modeling career took a turn for the worst as she refused to give into the acclaimed photographer's non-professional interest in her was when everything spiraled out of control.

No, maybe after that. Even though her name was tarnished by the bastard that had gotten her in magazines, she still put her foot down and refused to cry and become a sniveling mess. Utau nevertheless had her interest in singing, even though Mr. Shoji had ruined her reputation with lies, her manager had pulled all the strings and yanked up a small willing company from out the abyss to get her a recording contract. Her spirits became a rolling happy high as she belted out singles and climbed the ladder to success. That was when she noticed Ikuto faking small smiles in her direction and becoming more detached, less…there.

The very moment Ikuto left Utau and her mother was the knife to the throat for everything. Her inspiration shattered to pieces, her will to write and sing became nothing. A year of silence from the singer/songwriter Utau Hoshina couldn't be supported by the small company and they dropped her. Oh, but life just had to get wicked and even more nasty than before. Souko got diagnosed with lung cancer, which was in the far stages. The money Utau had accumulated was used for her mother's medical bills. It was the least she could offer and a very pathetic way to make it up to her mother for those few years she hadn't noticed her weak state. Ikuto probably had no clue of it either. Considering he was always away from home doing god knows what at the time. Utau only ever gained his attention by her singing career. Very little of it, but he still mustered up a congratulations and acknowledgement of her success. When he just…vanished, Utau was more hurt than shocked. Their step-father hounded her older brother day and night to make something of himself, sometimes even getting physical to the point there would be a fist or two thrown.

Ikuto always brushed it off with an emotionless and uncaring façade even after Kazuomi apologized. It was no wonder considering their step-father refused to believe Ikuto could make a steady income from his violin. Her mother sometimes wondered of the fading bruises, but her brother being himself never spoke of the truth. And now he was gone.

Simple as that.

Utau was left alone with a mother frail as glass in the hospital and a man that she never considered once as a father. Kazuomi only focused on Souko, seeing Utau as a child struggling with school and too dimwitted to succeed in grades. Friends were hard to come by when she was spending all her time forcing her mind to memorize and catch up to the curriculum. Home school hadn't been enough, and it was way out of the budget now. It was just her, with the memories of her missing brother and her ailing mother.

And she thought…

…_would anyone care? _As her loose blond locks tumbled in the wind that blew from the opposite direction she was facing. Her mother could barely breathe, let alone speak. The only comfort she had was gone and replaced with a body that was barely recognizable. She couldn't call Ikuto and tell him what was going on. Utau hoped and wished for a letter or just - something! But it never came after two years with her life plummeting down and further into the abyss. Her knuckles paled to white as she gripped the edge and started to push herself up.

_No one knows me. My mother's dying. My father's dead. My brother's gone. _The whirling, endless amount of failures and mocking words stung her heart and her eyes. The tears grew icily cold as Utau tried to blink them away from the wind that blew harshly into her face. She closed her eyes, taking one solid breath as she stood there with her arms wide open towards the sky. For a moment she could imagine the warm breeze of summer as her father zoomed her around in the backyard. The smile that she loved, the brother that used to be happy. The mother that was once well.

Utau didn't move, standing completely still. The lowering sun was ebbing slowly away and so was its warmth. Kazuomi was probably at the hospital again, and the house would be empty. Over an hour ago she would already be there with books spread out around her and desperation to understand the various subjects clawing away in her chest. But she had taken her time going home, wandering around and finally coming to this bridge to teeter just over the edge. The option of life and death.

Another mind-blowing thought whammed her conscious state just as the other had.

_What am I doing?_

The seizing panic was instantaneous and just as quick as the yell from below right beside the ravine.

"HEY!"

Utau's eyes snapped open and she felt the shudder of surprise rock her body. Her feet slipped immediately under the sudden movement from the thin stone siding. The scream didn't come, but the heart stopping fear did.

What she expected was the frosty bite of water and searing pain to succumb her. The bridge wasn't high enough for anyone looking to die instantaneously. It was for a person looking to do something stupid and get badly injured. Although, the way she was falling, head first, would likely end in her death or a coma. But it didn't happen. None of that entered her nerves and shut her mind off to blackness as she assumed it would. Her heart was still beating hard and fast, the panicky breathless feeling still hogging her throat. But what she felt was warm, strong arms holding her. What she began to see was a tan face and bright green eyes looking in to her own like they cared.

Like she…mattered.

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_fall_

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**Is it possible for him to catch from the height? xD Oh, pft, I don't know! It wasn't like a huge major tall bridge or anything. Plus it's a oneshot, I didn't pour my soul into making it logical XD Though, if you guys liked it enough for me to continue, I'd mention him falling on his butt and gaining a few bruises in chapter 2. Ya know, trying to be realistically correct and all…**

**The only dialogue that happened was when Kukai yelled 'Hey', so I apologize for people who love conversation instead of major depressing back-story. I wrote this in an hour and I feel content and proud of myself. Don't take it too seriously if you hate it or something, it was a quickie idea that popped in my head, haha (and I know I should be working on Camp S.O.S! I'm sorry, this just…came out of no where!) If people actually like this, I'll write a sequel or maybe a story. Who knows…?**

**I always enjoy a review! Ciao :D**


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